7.29.2006

No time for tears........

I walked the quiet, neutral corridor
and I responded to smiles with a smile
I entered without a care in the world
I left with the weight of the world on my shoulders
Mammogram.....as rude as the tech
after she heard the results
her eyes never met mine again
I knew by the fast appearance
of sympathy that replaced her I hate my job face
Ultra sound.... as gentle as the tech
she saw passed the patient and remembered the person
she slipped quietly from the room
returning with the Radiologist
With his brown eyes looking into my baby blues
he used words like non-suspicious,borderline and suspicious
he added "way beyond" to my "suspicious"
I now not only have two breasts
I have two tumors
two tumors that were not there
just a few months ago...
now they are taking up residence
without a lease....squatters I will call them
Now suddenly there wasn't enough
space in that ultra sound room
Cancer had joined us and had sucked
up all the oxygen for a moment
I wanted Jim more than the oxygen anyway.....
I have cycled through all the emotions already
I see-saw between numb and really pissed off
It's a good thing I'm a warrior
and I can draw from my own strength
I will not walk quietly, I will carry a big stick.
I will not go quietly.

12 comments:

marc said...

May every doubt and fear you have
b replaced with a deep and adiding trust
that you are loved beyond measure

may that love fill your well of hope
and may it guide you through these difficult times.
Peace Marc :)

briliantdonkey said...

Wow, beautifully written despite being a very NOT beautiful situation obviously. Prayers....

TJ said...

{{{{{{ Kim }}}}} walk straight forward into the eye of that beast! Been there and it is a battle to be fought with all your strength you can gather from deep within, family and friends.
You can lean on me...Love TJ

Red said...

I will keep you in my thoughts.
((Kim)) may the angels walk at your side.

Jod{i} said...

Oh Kim...My thoughts are with you...At this moment they may not bring all comfort, yet I hope to give that strength when you most need...

We ARE here...

Peace and Love,
Jodi

Tammy said...

Kim, you are in my prayers mighty warrior.

V said...

Beautifully Written, Kim.
Hugs,
V

jillypoet said...

So beautifully written. I have been around cancer most of my life: mom 3x, aunts, cousins, friends...I know it can be beaten! Have faith! You will beat it too! We are walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on 10/7, my kids, my mom and I. She is 21 years-free. I will add you to the list of names "In Celebration Of" on my back!

Katie McKenna said...

I cried reading this.... having gone through this recently with mama Estella.

Yes, beautifully expresed.

May the challenges ahead be balanced by the knowledge that you are strong... you are loved.

writerwoman said...

I just found this blog. What a innovative idea to bring writers together. I will be stopping back to read more in the future.

This poem really made me feel emotions of the writer, the fear and strength that mingle in that sitution.

Kartik Menon said...

amazingly powerful writing...

Clockworkchris said...

My mother has been through this process 3-4 times. I hope you are okay now, it has been months since you wrote this. It is a beautiful piece of work and I hope you continue to share to lift some of the burden off you.